


It's perfectly normal

by sunflowerstorm



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Discussion of Death, Gen, Gender Issues, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Mentions of Frigga and Odin but they don't make appearances, Odin's A+ Parenting, Redemption, Shapeshifting, Thor being a good brother... eventually, Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Spoilers, Trans Character, Valkyrie being gay as heck, a little hint at valki at the end, u have been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 00:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12900273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerstorm/pseuds/sunflowerstorm
Summary: People trust her, more than anyone should ever the God of Mischief. She can be softer and express emotion without fear of retribution. As a woman people seem to confide in her, lower their guard and let her in. A horrible mistake most of the time but it worked in her favour.----Loki shape shifts and whilst she is perfectly fine with it, others seem to be overly opinionated.





	It's perfectly normal

Loki had never felt much attachment to his gender. Magic enabled him to change form on a whim so changing that form to female felt normal. He’d learned to do so in his adolescent years as a natural progression of his magic. Loki had never thought it to be wrong or strange because she was still the same person as he was and it was nice to exist within a body that flowed in a different way every now and again. It was a change of pace that gave Loki freedom that he never felt as a man. The main difference, however, beside those most obvious, was others perception of him.

People trust her, more than anyone should ever the God of Mischief. She can be softer and express emotion without fear of retribution. As a woman people seem to confide in her, lower their guard and let her in. A horrible mistake most of the time but it worked in her favour.

She is as much a mischief maker as he was. That’s because ultimately, she is no different to him. Odin didn’t see it that way.

An abomination she was in his eyes. How any man could ever part with his physical nature was beyond Odin and he expressed his confusion through anger. Loki knew it was no more than confusion, or had learnt that when she was sobbing in Freya’s arms late one night. Still it furthered the divide between Loki and his ‘father’.

Few knew of her. Because of Odin’s confusion and anger, she was commanded to keep herself on royal grounds never to explore the wider world. It had drawn together Loki and Freya as she was the only one who seemed to embrace her daughter. Their likenesses became even more evident when Loki presented female. She would purposefully make the curve of her face match her mothers and her hips form so she could walk with the same elegant stride. Yet it stung to only be his mother’s daughter behind doors, left to his sole existence as Prince of Asgard elsewhere.

Loki had known Thor knew, but Thor being a child well under Odin’s thumb refused to acknowledge her. Thor loved Loki in the way anyone would love an annoying little brother. Loki was fun and exciting, often the two would leave a trail of mischief and trickery behind them as little boys tend to do. Thor didn’t understand how to love or behave around an annoying little sister. She scared him, and suddenly having a teenage sister was a doorway to a world of unknown territory. So, his only answer was to ignore her existence. If Loki presented female around him he’d find some excuse to leave or avert his eyes. Once, Thor had even gone so far to pretend he hadn’t seen her or heard her. 

In reality Thor wasn’t only scared of her but scared for her. Odin’s disapproval was a powerful force and he didn’t want his baby brother to be in any more danger than he usually was. He had foolishly hoped that ignoring it would lead to Loki ceasing this woman nonsense, but instead Loki used it against his brother. On several occasions half way through a conversation Loki would shift and walk away leaving Thor with no option but to let her.

 

On one glorious day Loki managed to escape Asgard’s palace, having altered her form enough to be unrecognisable as the prince. Long flowing golden hair and a round face, short in stature and clothed in servant dress so as to pass unnoticed. She found herself in the market place, free for what felt like the first time. On this occasion, she didn’t mind people towering over her as she strolled through the crowds. She was part of the machine, Asgard’s people, going about their days, doing their shopping. It was glorious. No-one here was confused by her and they ignored her because she was of little importance to them. 

Loki slowed down to look at the stalls, some selling fresh fruit, others jewellery and clothing, there was a woman with birds of all different sizes in well-polished cages and a man with finely embroidered leather satchels. The deeper she went into the market place the finer the produce and crafts. Eventually one stall had caught her eye but it wasn’t because of the merchandise, a group of finely painted clay bowls, but the store assistant. 

She couldn’t have been much older than Loki. A tall, slender brunette with sharp eyes that suggested knowledge beyond her station as a shop girl. She looked bored, watching three young children run under the tables of neighbouring stalls rather than standing at attention as most shop keepers were. Loki approached slowly coming to a stop in front of her table, casually inspecting the bowls as she waited for the shop girl to notice her. It took Loki casually clearing her throat after a few minutes of pottery inspection to get the girls attention.

“Oh! I’m so dreadfully sorry. How can I be of assistance miss?” Her voice was soft, much softer than Loki had been expecting, somewhat lower too. “I see you are from the palace, are you looking for anything in particular?”

“No, I’m not here on palace business.” Loki deflected, her own voice coming out rich and with confidence that didn’t quite match her appearance. “May I ask if you had a hand in creating these marvellous bowls?” 

“I’m afraid not, my mother makes them, as according to her I do not have the hands for it. If you would like to have something made I can fetch her for you.” She tucked her hands behind her back as though to remove them from closer inspection.

“That will not be necessary, I was simply admiring the paint work. You seem to have talents of your own, shop keeping does not come easily to everyone.” The girl blushed and leaned into a more relaxed stance.

“No, I suppose not. If not here on palace business what are you doing down here?” It was a fair question, there had been no reason besides escape for Loki to flee the castle, she had not thought to bring money for she hadn’t known the markets would be her destination. Looking around there was so much hustle and bustle surely a little mayhem could go unchecked.

“I’m taking a break. Having some fun.” And with that and the shop girl’s eyes on her she extended her arm casually from the side, with the twist of her hand one of the young children who was running through the stalls stumbled. He happened to knock over a barrel of apples. Not noticing a young man carrying a woven basket tripped, sending his basket high into the air. That young man so happened to have been carrying several dozen eggs which flew high into the sky before raining down on the market place. High pitch screams and startled yells surrounded them.

One egg threatened to hit one of the outer bowls on display but it froze in mid-air, noticed only by a single shop girl. Loki plucked it from the air before holding it out to her. She took it, a startled smile on her lips.

“How on earth did you… who are you?” Loki smiled in return.

“Nobody of concern. I should be on my way now. Enjoy the rest of the show.” She curtsied lightly before turning and running through the crowd of confused and upset people. The aftermath should be much more amusing to watch than some children’s game of tag.

Through the other side of the markets and on the west side of town was a great garden. Unlike the palace gardens it was full of people coming and going, playing music and spending time together. Being far enough away from the palace, Loki as she’d practiced, slowly melted her features back to her own. Slow enough that if one were to glance at her in passing they wouldn’t notice the changes. 

She kept her curves and shape, but grew taller and slimmer, her cheek bones more defined and her hair long and black. Her favourite part was her face but it was always the hardest. Coming up to a fountain she sat beside it looking into the water casually, focusing first on her lips, flattening them slightly and drawing them out, then her brows with a slightly higher arch lengthening her nose to fit the new proportions and finally adding some length to her eyelashes.

This is how she truly felt most comfortable. This was her face looking back at her. It was on that day that she realised that she is more comfortable to be than he ever was. 

Unfortunately, her peace wouldn’t last as someone was watching from afar. Loki had been so focused on manipulating her features that she had not felt her brothers gaze. Thor could not describe how he knew that the blond girl had been Loki, but the far-off shouts from not a moment earlier had him on high alert. As he’d watch her hair slowly change he had known for certain.

Actually getting to watch Loki’s magic at work and seeing the choices she made about her feminine features gave him a different perspective. It hit him like lightning. She was choosing this; it was not a form of trickery or meant as provocation of Odin. Each feature was for herself and as Thor watched his sister peer into the fountain he couldn’t help but feel a fierce need to protect her well up inside him. He’d blame this on her feminine appearance but deep down he knew that he’d fight for Loki’s right to be who she wanted to be. 

Still it was dangerous for her to be out in the open so visibly displaying her magic. Thor approached her putting his hand on her shoulder. Startled Loki let out a high-pitched yelp and upon realising who had disturbed her fixed a scowl upon her face.

“Loki, it is not safe for you to practice your magic outside of the palace grounds.” Thor removed his hand somewhat in fear of Loki’s reaction.

“I thought you would not speak to me like this.” Loki studied her brother carefully. “I suppose you’re going to demand I change back and go home.” 

“No, I am not, just let us retreat to a less crowded space.” Thor knew the conversation he wanted to have with his sister would be hard and best had without an audience.

“And why should I go with you? For all I know you would do me harm.” Thor was immediately taken aback.

“Loki have I ever given you any reason to believe I’d hurt you?” Now Loki avoided eye contact.

“No but you haven’t given evidence to prove you wouldn’t.” This made Thor even more desperate to talk with Loki.

“Please, just follow me?” 

“Fine.” And so, Thor led Loki through to the other side of the park, away from the fountain. A few eyes followed the young prince but it was not uncommon to see Thor exploring Asgard with his friends.

Thor lead Loki to a small hedged off area where stone benches circled around a thriving bush, covered in pale white flowers. Loki had never been there before but recognised the flowers from the palace garden, his mother’s favourite. Thor sat down and motioned for Loki to join him. She sat leaving an arm length of space between the two.

“So, what is it you wanted?”

“First of all, I was wrong…” Loki couldn’t help but laugh bitterly.

“Ha, you don’t hear that every day.” Thor frowned.

“I’m serious Loki. Although I can’t excuse my actions towards you, I was simply afraid.” He took a deep breath. “I didn’t know how to deal with this new development, I didn’t know how to treat you and I thought you were only playing another trick to get on father’s bad side.”

“It doesn’t take much effort to do that.” Loki muttered but Thor paid him no mind.

“Now I see that this is just you. I don’t need to worry because you are still Loki and no matter if you are my little sister or my little brother you are the same person. And although I can’t change Odin’s opinion, know that I am no longer swayed by it.”

“Thor I…” Loki hadn’t expected this and didn’t know how to respond.

“And even if you choose to be my little sister, we can still sew havoc all over Asgard. Together. So next time you choose to sneak out and destroy the peace let me come along too. Someone needs to watch your back.” Thor now put a hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“Thank-you.” When Loki met Thor’s eyes she gave in. Tears sliding down her face as Thor pulled her into a tight embrace. Always the one to hide her emotions in conflict she commented. “And I don’t need anyone to watch my back but I’ll bring you along anyway you great emotional oaf.”

This was part of why she liked being herself. This affection felt right and welcomed. Loki wasn’t touch starved but something about presenting as a woman brought her mother and brother closer.

 

That would not be the last time Loki would sneak out of the palace. Far from it. But as the two grew and matured, Thor found his own friends and accompanied Loki less. The split between them had grown again, until it became a divide. Then literally the entirety of space was put between them.

After Loki fell from Asgard he kept her away. She was too open and emotive. Her anger would surely show. So he focused himself on hardening into the weapon that Thanos had desired, and aimed to start anew on Earth. That didn’t go to plan. 

His return to Asgard as a criminal meant that his magic was kept from him. He longed to morn his mother as he had been closest to her. Remembering better times when his mother brushed her long hair and held her close. Even if he did have his magic he did not deserve to return to her. He had made too many mistakes and he was now responsible for killing the woman whos image she was made in.

When Loki took his chance at freedom he constructed a life of lies for himself. Being Odin, king of Asgard, became his life and whilst he enjoyed finally sitting on the throne and being respected by the people it left no room for her.

Things had escalated so quickly upon Thor’s return. Seeing his father die, meeting his sister. 

Hela was not unlike Loki. Despite having no blood relation, the resemblance was close. Their cheekbones, their long black hair, the green and black leather, even the intent and determination behind her eyes Loki had seen in his own. She however was not to be reasoned with. She was too far gone in a way Loki prayed never to be. He was faced with true evil and hatred and his own seemed to wither in comparison. 

Landing on Saakar, he kept her far from the surface, that place was too dark and too crooked to see her face. Loki wanted to keep her free from shame and corruption, her experiences those of happier times, so hid her deep away in all his dealings with the Grandmaster. 

Thor’s betrayal had stung. Loki had finally pushed too far and Thor had snapped leaving him incapacitated on Sakaar in the after-shock of electricity. Their childhood adventures in trickery had obviously paid off for Loki hadn’t seen it coming until it was too late. Not that he blamed Thor, after the past several years he wouldn’t trust himself as far as he could throw Mjølnir. 

Still he found himself steering his stolen ship to Asgard. Setting loose Surtur. And just generally saving his brothers ass. It wasn’t until they could no longer see Asgard burning behind them that Loki relaxed. He was free, he was safe. And to Thor that was what mattered.

Hugging his brother took him back. Back to the day when she had escaped the palace and created a scene in the market place, Thor following her back to the park and then talking with her in the garden. That sense of safety and love had grown to be so foreign to Loki now. But as she shifted in her brother’s arms she knew she wanted it again. If that meant playing nice, she would. 

“Is this alright?” She said pulling away. Thor smiled.

“Alright as it ever was. I’ve missed this face of yours. It reminds me of better days.” He cupped her face gently before stepping away. “And this time there is no Odin to confine you.” The reminder of the passed King broke the moment. The weight of that which had transpired over the last several years rested on Loki’s shoulders.

“I do apologise…” She started.

“Ha, you don’t hear that every day.” Loki sighed.

“And for that I am also sorry. I have done so much wrong which I need to make amends for. I know how much Odin meant to you, that despite everything he did he was still your father. And I’m sorry that I also am responsible for killing your mother.”

“Our mother. And Loki I don’t hold that against you.”

“You should!” Loki protested.

“But I don’t.” Thor insisted.

“What about Earth? I’ve killed hundreds of people!” Loki gestured outwards with her arm as if to reveal the multitude of people whose death she was responsible for.

“That is in the past now Loki, if you want it to be. I know that Thanos gave you little choice on Earth.”

“But it was still a choice. It isn’t an easy one to overlook.”

“I’m not overlooking it. You’ve done things but so have I. I was a fool and I pushed you away when we were teenagers and then again when we were matured. You have every right not to be here, you could have left us all to die on Asgard but you didn’t Loki.” He paused letting the words sink in. “That’s the choice I am paying attention to now. I hope you will choose to stay with me despite the choices I have made.” The open honesty that only Thor was capable of had always frustrated Loki but now she was grateful.

“Of course, brother.” Loki said knowing that she could never have said anything else.

“Look at the two of us, talking civilly, mother would have been so proud.” Thor had come to terms with his mother’s death, he had closure while Loki had not.

“Indeed.” Tension still lingered and Thor ached to dispel it.

“And look at you. I think you still have mothers chin.” Loki brought her hand to her face self-consciously. “If you still feel responsible, pay in honouring her. As my sister and a princess of Asgard not only stay but lead. I know you have the ability and I am still your foolish brother who needs advice. Help to rebuild and guide Asgard’s people in this time of loss.”

“And how am I meant to do that when they fear me?” It was a valid question, Loki was notorious amongst the people and not everyone would be able to see things as Thor did.

“But they have not met this you yet. If you intend to keep this face or switch between the many I will back you. But start with this, let it be a new beginning and show our people that there is more to you than your past.” It would take time, but as Loki had stayed as himself in times of hardship to survive and hold up his reputation, maybe she could do the opposite. To destroy the image she had built up and start again sounded like more than she deserved. Thor had faith in her now so she would try.

“Well aren’t you just full of wisdom today. You make an excellent King.”

“We’ll see.” Just then Brunnhilde walked in.

“So, we have a shortage of rooms and will need to transform some of the living space to…” She stared unabashedly looking Loki up and down. The woman in question bade goodbye to her brother before walking out of the room purposefully swaying her hips and brushing against Valkyrie as she gawked. Thor chuckled, Loki was ever the God of Mischief.

“Was that… Loki?” She blinked several times as if not believing her eyes.

“Oh, Loki’s a shapeshifter. She does that sometimes. It’s perfectly normal.” To which the Valkyrie gave no response, turning on her heel and walking out after Loki. Leaving Thor to let out a full-bodied laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by https://www.deviantart.com/art/2-in-1-package-715741378 and I kinda borrowed the ending from it so go check it out!  
> Also I might add to this if I have time so let me know if you'd be interested in a chapter 2!


End file.
